Monday, March 08, 2010

heartache


In eighth grade, I was sitting at the lunch table with my three friends. I couldn't quite hear what they were talking about.

"Wait, who are you talking about?" I asked.
"We can't tell you!!!" C said, snottily.
"Well, then don't talk about it in front of me."

For the rest of the year, C convinced J and C2 not to talk to me. I finished out eighth grade without any close friends.

When you're 14, life sucks. I was already a nerd so those three friends were pretty important to me socially. Down the street, I had three friends who I grew up with, but they found their route to popularity and we never hung out at school. These friends had a pregnant cat.

Depressed and alone I knew I needed a companion. At first, my parents said no. I remember sobbing and choking out the words, "but I need...." and never finished my sentence. I'm still not sure if they understood what I meant or if they just gave in. They weren't ever very supportive of my social growth.

So, August 8, 1993, I spent the night at my friends' house as their cat gave birth to adorable orange kittens. I had claimed I wanted the kitten with the most white on it who was named Sugar Legs. Mom and Dad told me I could not have her because she was the runt and they wouldn't have a runt again. (My previous runt cat was awesome and I still don't know what their problem was.)

I settled on the fluffiest, then named Sunshine.

I was there when they learned to crawl, open their eyes, and to love pets from humans. I brought her home and changed her name to Soleil. She wore a periwinkle blue collar.

My bed was about four feet high and she could leap from the ground up there. It was a waterbed and would pop often from this trick.

In the summers, she'd "play jungle" by lounging in the long leaves of the day lilies. Sometimes she'd jump out and grab your leg as you walked by and then run away, hoping you would chase her.

Through teen angst, break ups, and unemployment she was there with cuddles and purrs.

Today, at age 16.5, she was put to sleep. I am broken hearted but very grateful that she was there with me through the tough times. I don't know that I could have done any better than Soleil.


9 comments:

Jenny said...

Oh, Nichole, I am so sorry. Take good care of yourself today. xoxo

Stefanie & David said...

So sorry to read about your loss, I hope you are doing ok.

Stefanie

la Naváa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
la Naváa said...
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la Naváa said...

I have quite a similar story. Her name was Tubby; I found her when I was in junior high. Tubby was my dearest and only friend then. We put her down in Feburary at the age of 16.

I'm so very sorry.

hcg said...

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